Posts

Nowadays, we have gotten used to packing light to avoid the high-priced check-in luggage when traveling. However, in personal lives, we tend to bring us loads of emotional luggage anywhere we go, without realizing what fees we are paying for this. What price do we pay for carrying the weight of the “emotional check-in” luggage? What if there is a way to make it into a carry-on?

We can try a small thought experiment together. Imagine trying to pack a suitcase that should hold all your necessities for a journey called “the rest of your life.” What treasured memories would you take with you? What pain would you like to leave behind, which people and responsibilities would not make the cut? What would your life be like if you could leave behind all that is holding you back and weighing you down? Think of the lightness of life with only a carry-on of memories, people’s needs, and expectations from you.

Significant memories

When you look back to your life what memories make you sad, disappointed or angry? Amongst those which do you identify as responsible for the things, you dislike about your life today? How would you and your life be like today if those events played out differently? Good news is that even though we can’t alter the past we can change how we perceive it and therefore how it defines us.

Who would you be today if you didn’t experience the challenges in the past? What did you discover about your strengths and capabilities by enduring them? What friendships grew on the road to overcoming them? Even though it is problematic to see at times, even the most difficult of memories can have something useful for your life. Most would rather if they could choose, avoid the pain they experienced. Don’t be fooled, this is possible!

Even though you can’t alter the past, you can transform your perception of it. You survived and it made you stronger! Sometimes seeing the positive that came from the frustration helps leave the negative emotions about it behind. Think of those events through this metaphor – a calm sea never made a skillful sailor. We don’t have to be prisoners of our past, but rather grow through what we go through.

Fears and negative anticipations

Robin Sharma said: “The fears we don’t face become our limits.” Once you can leave behind some of the painful memories from the past (read reframe them) you might be able to think more positively about the future too. Who we are and what we do in the present, is partly rooted in the past. However, we determine what to do today based on what we anticipate will happen tomorrow. We choose our actions today depending on where we believe they will take us. Those anticipations become more positive once you can reframe some of the “negative” experiences from the past. When you see that in everything bad there is a bit of good, you might start risking more. Allow your suitcase to contain fewer fears and more hopes.

 

People and their needs

Often we don’t notice when we become buried under peoples’ expectations and needs. Once they realize just how good of a resource you can be, they will rely on you consistently. These expectations accumulate over time and even though you feel like a good person by providing for others, you also feel drained.

Is there any of their needs that you can leave behind? What don’t you like providing they can find another person for? Before you start thinking this will make you a bad person, remember that by doing this you are in a way helping them. They will learn to widen the social network and become more independent. What people and which of their needs do you want to pack into the carry-on? This will allow you to still feel helpful and good about yourself without feeling drained. Remember, if you lose yourself – you lose it all.

 

Responsibilities and control

Being in control can give us predictability and help us feel safe. The more safety we need, the more control we are going to try to impose on different things in life. Needless to say, when you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Which things are, in fact, controllable? Which of those do you continue trying to rule over? What are the important and controllable things that you want to take with you to the rest of your life?

There is so much on your to-do list, day after day. Do all of them need to be done by you specifically? What can be delegated? Coaching for businesswoman can help you pack only the necessities in your carry-on. What are the essential duties you want to remain committed to? Direct coaching for women in business can help you learn how to delegate and focus on tasks that require you exclusively. Even though you can do anything, doesn’t mean you should do everything.

Make room for the things you want

The fact is you can’t pour into a full glass. When you translate that metaphor onto everyday life, you realize that for something unfamiliar to come in, you need to make room for it. Leaving behind the unnecessary, distressing and burdensome things from life provides the opportunity to add new, desirable ones. If you don’t choose to drag 5 check-in suitcases through airports when traveling, why would you choose to drag your emotional luggage through life?

Carrying only an “emotional backpack” allows you to travel to places where there are no elevators or smooth sidewalks. Imagine what you could experience if you didn’t have to carry so many worries, fears, and responsibilities with you. Pack light to travel far and enjoy the journey!

1 July 2019 Article Submitted byMilica Markovic

 

Lets catch-up virtually for 30-45 minutes to discuss anything about you and your business. I’m here to help you set and achieve your goals. You can book using the button below

Lets Book a Discovery session Today

 

 

Life can be challenging at times.

20 Simple Steps to Manage Life’s Challenges

Life can be challenging at times. You may be dealing with studies, kids, work and health issues, all at the same time. Throw in time for community fundraisers, financial issues or moving plans and it can become difficult to handle.  Here’s a simple and useful guide to have a positive perspective and handle life.

Practice Stress Busting Mini-Habits

  • Start a journal – write down the things you are grateful for in your life. Focus on the good and positive. Doing this will give you the strength to go on.
  • If you have too many things going on at one time, start a list. Doing this puts things in perspective, and helps you to implement them effectively. Enlist help from your friends and family. Doing it all alone is stressful and just not possible.
  • Plan your day with everything you want to do. Keep an hour for studies, one hour for work and spend some time with the kids once they are back from school.
  • If you have a community fundraiser to plan for, schedule it in your day. Break the work into bite-size steps that you can do in half an hour chunks of time. Completing work in small chunks gives you the confidence to complete all of it.
  • Make precise plans to tackle each area you just listed. Write the things to do with timelines on this list. Set up reminders for yourself and do your best.
  • Create work-life boundaries – keeping a distance from your phone, tablet or laptop can be a huge stress reducer. Keep a certain time in the day when you are away from these screens and not online.
  • Quit the quest for perfection. When you aim for perfection, things just stay stuck. Its important to move ahead and take it one day at a time. If you are happy with your effort, that will give you peace of mind and help you be stress-free.
  • Make a daily schedule -the night before. Doing this will help you stay ahead of the day. When you plan, keep an hour or two off to fit in any unexpected situation or things to do.
  • Stop comparing yourself with others. Limit the time spent on social media. Most often, people post the best part of their lives making It seem that they are perfect. That’s not true.
  • Don’t overthink about what others suggest. Listen to everyone then do what feels right to you. Trying to get everyone’s approval is never going to happen.
  • Consider a failure or rejection as feedback in life. Life does not stop when you face failure. Think of all the times you fell while trying to learn cycling. You still got up and rode again, didn’t you? Learn to stay positive and confident with the same mindset.

Everyday Self Care

  • Practice self-care. Keep some time for yourself every day as a routine. So, you can choose to go for a walk, jog or practice meditation or yoga. These simple daily activities can give the much needed me time, relieve your stress and allow you to focus.
  • Eat plant-based foods. It will help keep your gut clean and give you natural energy to get things done.
  • Cut the sugar out of your life. Difficult to do, but pays off when you see the sugar cravings go away. Most people try to eat more to handle all the stress. Don’t punish the body with processed foods. Once in a while is okay.
  • Choose healthier alternatives. Try having green tea or herbal tea in place of your second coffee cup of the day.

Socialize

  • Speak to friends and family often. Speaking with others helps in releasing the emotional burdens and enables you to gain newer perspectives. You learn to see and understand that everyone in life is facing challenges and not only you.
  • Plan date nights or get-together. In this digital age, meeting face to face is undervalued. Take out time and meet your friends, family and enjoy it
  • Stop trying to control everything in life. Use the extra hour in your schedule to deal with any unplanned circumstances. Being prepared helps you remain positive and tension free.
  • Express yourself through a hobby. Choose art, painting, sculpting, drawing or any other form that excites you.
  • Do things jointly with friends or family. If you have a house party coming up, distribute the responsibilities amongst family members and friends. Everyone is happy to participate and contribute and the responsibilities get well-distributed too.

The Last Word

Balancing work, life and everything else can be intimidating. Just resolve to be positive and confident whatever the situation may be, and you will surely be prepared for the oddballs that life throws at you.

 

 

Lets catch-up virtually for 30-45 minutes to discuss anything about you and your business. I’m here to help you set and achieve your goals. You can book using the button below

Lets Book a Discovery session Today

There was a time when work and family time had clear boundaries

There was a time when work and family time had clear boundaries. Nowadays, that is no longer the case and one must be conscious and very careful in trying to achieve the work-life balance to get the best of two worlds. This line has been further blurred by the use of technology that makes people available even after hours and consumes the time spent relaxing.

On a more cheerful note – even though it might be hard, it doesnt mean it is impossible to achieve work-life balance. However, what this balance will mean for each of us will be different, as our needs and responsibilities differ too. The ideal state of harmony and the road to achieving it will vary, as does what we are struggling with right now. Thats why the solution needs to be tailored and why we will propose later a small exercise designed to help you move closer to your individual desired state.

Gains and benefits of achieving the balance

The appropriate condition of balance and the avenues of attaining it will differ from person to person, but the benefits of achieving harmony are significant to all people employed. When employees experience a sense of command of their own lives and time division between work and rest they are more engaged and energetic in both.

Being in control and knowing there is designated time for each helps people focus on work while at work and deal with family matters outside of it. Not merely do they enjoy family time more, but they are equally able to build better relationships with coworkers and management. Fostering better relationships reduces the number of conflicts and increases productivity. A company is only as great as its people and studies prove that employees that have an optimal work-life balance do a better job. Therefore, companies that encourage this balance will yield good results in productivity, employee retention rates and become more enticing attracting the most outstanding talent out there.

Managing the balance will have an extensive effect on health and wellbeing in general. Being tired and overworked takes a great toll. Thinking process becomes clouded and productivity declines. Over more, tiredness can lead to dangerous mistakes at work and in private life. Stress from working too hard and not tending to yourself has negative effects on the immune system. In turn, this has a negative impact on any medical condition and overall health.

Bear in mind, dedicating the majority of time to work leads to more work. By showing you are responsible and get the work done, you invite people to rely on you in the future again. This leads to less and less time devoted to family and friends. Time remains the resource we need to be most careful about spending as it is not limitless and you cant get it back. Think about what you spend it on before you run out of it. In the words of Steve Blank: When you’re gone would you rather have your gravestone say, ‘He never missed a meeting.’ or one that said, He was a great father.

Moving closer to the Ideal

Before we attempt to change something we need to comprehend where we are currently and what we would desire to avoid. Therefore, the following technique could help in gaining clarity and taking the first steps towards the ideal state of work-rest.

You need very little material – a pen and a paper. If you dont have it handy, perhaps your imagination can do. Start by drawing a straight link across the paper in a letter position. On the left end of the line, you should write a phrase that indicates the undesired state of work-life balance and on the left the desired state. Ask yourself, what would like it to be, and what would I dislike in terms of this balance. For example, one could write living to work on the left, unwanted, and working to live on the other, desirable, end. Find your own wording and note it down.

Next, think of this line as a continuum going from the state you dont want to be in up to the one you wish you had. This step is about positioning yourself on this continuum NOW, in 2 and 5 years, on your worst day and in the IDEAL state. Take the time you require to figure out where to mark each of these on the line. An additional step could be trying to position people close to you on this line, to the best of your knowledge. For all you know, some of them will be an explicit model of what you like to avoid in life and what you want to aim for. If you discover you know someone who has achieved what you desire, they can be a resource and you could reach out for guidance.

Furthermore, we want to move from understanding to applying. Once you have them all noted, think of two small things you could do that would get you closer from where you are NOW to the IDEAL. Remember the tale of the rabbit and turtle race? Even the most modest steps bringing you closer to the goal, as long as you are persistent and dont give up. Conceivably that modest step for you would be saying NO to additional work or to staying over hours? Would you need learning how to delegate better to decrease the workload you are handling right now? Would it be making a list of priority items that prompt your response after hours and those that can wait until you come to the office? Could you need to communicate more clearly when you are available for work and set clear expectations when they can (not) reach you? Whatever these two steps are, they need to make sense to you and be applicable to your unique situation.

Ultimately, it is possible you opt for Coaching for success and find a great Gold Coast Business Coach to assist you in this endeavor. A coach could assist in developing steps that are outside of your comfort zone but still not terrifying. What you decide to undertake at this stage should be challenging enough, but not paralyzing you with fear. Otherwise, you will simply go back to the behaviors you are comfortable with which lead you to predictable outcomes. However, if you continue going down the same familiar road, you will inevitably end up on the same place in the end. Change is about designing the following modest step and estimating the consequences before you take it.

Slow and steady is the key

Remember, creating a healthy work-life balance is a continuous process. Re-examine your priorities from time to time, draw the line again and if needed find assistance to support you staying on course. Work-life balance does not imply an equal division of time. Figuring out an optimal number of hours to allocate to each requires an investment of time and energy. Successively, life will reward you with feelings of fulfillment, meaning, and calmness. Being attentive and investing consistently will yield good results and ultimately achieve the harmony you need to make the most of the two worlds.

30 April 2019 Article Submitted byMilica Markovic

 

Lets catch-up virtually for 30-45 minutes to discuss anything about you and your business. I’m here to help you set and achieve your goals. You can book using the button below

Lets Book a Discovery session Today

doTerra’s InTune® Focus Blend

There is one thing that big tasks, deadlines, exams and like circumstances have in common – the need for perfect concentration. Maximum clarity for hours is just not negotiable when a deadline is looming. However, a lot of times, it’s just not easy to achieve a sustained sense of focus due to the sheer number of distractions around us. For example, it is estimated that it takes about 25 minutes to concentrate, yet office workers are interrupted every 11 minutes, while on the whole, Americans contend with 34 gigabytes of information and 100,500 words every day! It is against this backdrop that this post explores hacks, both short-term and long-term, for enhancing and sustaining a sense of focus and avoid sensory overload.

SHORT-TERM HACKS

Eliminate Distractions

Duh! This sounds so counter-intuitive, but yes, we forget so many times to remove distractions or simply underrate how many distractions we have around and how much they affect our concentration. Even more, distractions may be both physical (like a television playing in the background, Facebook feed notifications on your phone and your co-worker’s smelling food) or internal (like nervousness, fatigue, fear and sadness).

Yet, eliminating distractions is not always easy today, especially if the cause is an uncooperative co-worker. To eliminate physical distractions, you can reserve a certain time and place where you will be left alone. These include the library, a private room in your house and a coffee shop. While you are working, ensure your phone is on airplane mode, your computer has all notifications disabled, and you clearly inform coworkers or family that you are not to be disturbed. To eliminate internal distractions, be well-rested before attempting to start. Also, be positive and willfully avoid disrupting feelings and thoughts.

Make Your Work Environment Comfortable

First, check if your work-space is ergonomic. Make sure your desk and chair are at a comfortable height so you don’t strain your back.  Often a simple thing such as a small cushion or a rolled-up towel to support your lower back is enough to fend off that back soreness interrupting your workflow.

Adjust the position of your computer and any other work tools you use. The optimal set-up for your desk space includes your monitor being at arm’s lengths away from your eyes and your wrists and hands on the keyboard straight at or below elbows level.

Write Out Key Important Tasks Every Hour

One of the best ways to keep your brain focused is to write out the tasks that you want to accomplish within an hour and then time yourself to complete it within the specified period. By writing out your key tasks each hour and timing yourself, you can focus on what is most important and infuse it with a sense of exigency.

Break Your Tasks Up into Smaller Goals

Instead of focusing on your big, long term goals, start setting small daily goals. By doing this, you can focus solely on what you have to do in a day, instead of the sometimes-frightening gargantuan task as a whole. Achieving small daily goals will wire your brain for success and trigger the reward mechanism, releasing dopamine when you accomplish your goal. This will help you stay more focused and increase the odds of you achieving tomorrow’s goal.

Use Essential Oils with Nootropic Properties

Nootropics are substances that increase cognitive abilities, and essential oils are have known nootropic properties which stimulate the brain almost immediately, resulting in better focus, less stress and an upbeat mood. One very good essential oil is doTerra’s InTune® Focus Blend. It is made of Patchouli Leaf, Frankincense Resin, Lime Peel, Ylang Ylang Flower essential oils, amongst others. Frankincense has been used for centuries for improving focus and distractions while boosting concentration, same with the others too. By applying it somewhere you can smell it, even at the back of your hand, it will increase your cognitive abilities and also improve your focus.

LONG-TERM HACKS

While this post has mostly concentrated on the quick things to do to ensure maximum focus short-term, there are more things that could be done long-term will aid concentration in the long run. Starting each morning with exercise is one as it is one of the most important things that you can do for your brain and your overall well-being. It does not have to be a full-blown, get ripped regime – walking every morning is an exercise too.

Another important point is to get enough sleep because nothing ruins your focus more than consistent sleep deprivation. 7 hours of high-quality sleep per night minimum is tonic for the soul. Also, eating good fats like nuts, avocados, eggs, and coconut oil in your diet will improve your cognitive function and help your brain run more smoothly. After all, the human brain is made up of roughly 60% fat.

Finally, I found that eating in the morning makes me feel drowsy and muddles my concentration, so what I do is what is popularly known as Intermittent Fasting (IF). For 16 hours out of the day, all you have to do is fast completely and then consume all of your calories in an 8-hour window. It is tremendously easy and incredibly beneficial. Outside of the benefits to your metabolism and fat loss goals, IF actually helps you to have more focus in the morning because your body is not wasting precious energy digesting foods. Instead, it can allocate all of those resources to helping you concentrate on the task at hand.

In conclusion, mastering your focus is not an easy task. It takes commitment and making efforts towards that commitment to achieve a sustained sense of focus to enable you to complete your task. Without you making these efforts, even tips can only do so much. We hope the many rewards will galvanize you to make efforts and achieve your goals.

 

Buy doTerra’s InTune® Focus Blend

 

What can we learn if we are attuned to the seasonal change?

Seasons bring more than just the need for a wardrobe change. Each season delivers an opportunity to connect with nature and change together with it. Have you noticed how your mood and energy level differ depending on the season? Did you detect any new behaviors arising depending on the time of the year?

Plant and animal life have adapted over thousands of years to this change in weather happening throughout the year. As a species, humans have adapted to it too, however, over time, we lost the intensity of the connection. When most of the work people did was connected to agriculture and food growing we were much more mindful of the seasons. Today, as office work is unaffected by them we easily slip into the disconnect to nature’s change. When was the last time you were indeed aware that autumn or winter are starting, besides the need to use warmer clothes?
What can we learn if we are attuned to the seasonal change?

Every season bears a unique kind of beautiful with it and is precious for all life. The white coat that covers the Earth during winter makes it as beautiful as does the green one during the summer. In spring everything blossoms, and you could find yourself being moved by nature’s ability to regenerate after cold winter months. Have you ever stopped to admire the specter of colors autumn leaves showcase? Autumn is genuinely the season of movement with all the change happening (in temperature, winds, looks of, thus far, the green coat of Earth). Each one of the seasons is unique and delightful, the same as each one of us is, without exception. Nature appreciates all of the seasons as we should appreciate ourselves.

Each of the seasons lasts only for a few months and has its picks in its beauty. If we give them a chance, they can teach us to “stop and smell the roses” knowing nothing lasts forever. If you lived forever would you be so driven to do so much? Probably not. Seasons teach us we should enjoy the moment that is happening now as it is fleeting and never to repeat. You will never have a chance to live this day again!

Furthermore, seasons can offer hope to those that need it. A few months and the season is gone, right? In a way, this can be interpreted as nature’s way of telling us “this too shall pass.” If you are hurting, know it will pass (especially if you work on it). If you are happy savor every moment of it since it will also pass. If you think about it, nothing lasts forever and there a lesson and hope in appreciating that.

Change can prompt another kind of hope – hope that metamorphosis is achievable. Some changes can occur as naturally as spring comes after winter, whereas others will call for the shedding of old ways as trees leave their leaves in the autumn and give way to winter. Every one of the seasons presents an opportunity to reflect and reconstruct oneself.
Let the natural change spark your personal one

It used to be that summers were used to produce food, while the winter was a time for resting since there was not that much to do. It surely is no accident that after the season of change follows a season of calm. Winter can gift us with the feeling of peace and calm if we let it. The tranquility of winter can help reflect and ponder on the future steps in life. It can serve as a time to unwind and relax from all the movement and change we go through during the rest of the year.

Winter is a great time to dedicate to your own contemplation and allow yourself time to sit in quiet. The atmosphere of silence can help you get more attuned to your inner voice trying to whisper what you need and want. Turn inward to hear better and let your intuition direct you further. Allowing yourself to take the time to identify what negative stories you tell yourself can help you change them.

Autumn and winter demonstrate us that letting go is not necessarily a negative thing. The leaves and fruits that fall on the ground during autumn, and lie under snow during winter, will become new plant life when spring comes. Letting go can bring opportunities for something new to grow in its place. Give yourself the opportunity to declutter your mental and emotional space to make room for unknown experience in your life.

 

01 April  2019 – Article Submitted by Milica Markovic

Keeping Emotional Baggage Out of Your Work Space

Are you feeling blue for many days? Is your anxiety over a relationship pressing you down?

Many times, in a relationship, you may feel threatened, withdrawn, negative or even apprehensive. It could be a recent event or something that occurred in childhood, experiences can quickly turn into emotional baggage. It is important not to allow them to weigh you down.

It is like a heavy backpack that you are carrying in your mind unknowingly. All the responses, conversations and emotional hurt keeps zooming around in your head.  As a solopreneur, you already have a lot to deal with in your daily work and personal life. Carrying emotional struggles into your workplace will fire it up even more. Having been in this situation, I want to share a few tips to get your head and heart freer and lighter.

  • Pick and Choose

Are there any bits in your life that you would like to improve? If you have an unfulfilling relationship, credit card debt, health issues you want to change, change them right away. It could be the old habits that are not getting unstuck. Take your time and work through them one at a time. You’ve got this!

  • List it Up

Trello, your smartphone app, or even a pen and paper, pick up whatever you like. Organize the things you want to change and list them down in order of priority. Long term wants, daily habits or present-day challenges may end up here. Pick the one bothering you the most and get it out of the way.

  • Express Yourself

Let go. Release all the pent-up emotions bottled up within. Learn to forgive and forget. Sure, it is hard to do, but why not start practicing? One step at a time will make life easier. Doing this is vital to be at peace with yourself.

  • Make time to Play

Have a favorite hobby? Maybe you like painting, yoga or swimming. Spend time doing the activity you love. As time passes by, recollect one good thing from the experience. Once you do this, you will be able to relate a positive aspect with the experience you had. You will be able to understand yourself and relieve some of the emotional hurt.

  • Allow Time

When you want to let go of all the emotional baggage, allow yourself sufficient time. Immerse yourself in work in a focussed manner. Shut out other distractions and thoughts when you are working. Give yourself time to heal from emotional circumstances.

  • Take Solace

Spend time with yourself. If you prefer journaling and keeping notes, do it. Like taking a walk in the lap of nature, go right ahead. Spending time with yourself gives the mental clarity, that can surprise you. Go for a mini holiday, recharge yourself and be back with a bang. Have you thought about investing in a training program in gold coast? Go for it. You will come back richer in experience and thought. Your business will thank you for it.

  • Seek Intervention

Sometimes, an objective person can give you the focus you need. Speak to a mentor, coach or a friend about your thoughts. Therapists or counselors can be of great support at getting you to the right direction.

Why not pick any one of the ideas? Or even more than one to implement. Stepping back a bit can help you unload the emotional hurt that is holding you back.

If you liked this post, do share it with your friends. I hope 2019 turns out to be exciting and empowering for you.

Cheers!

 

Welcome and lets catch-up virtually for 30-45 minutes to discuss anything about you and your business. I’m here to help you set and achieve your goals. You can book using the button below 

Book Your Discovery Call Today

 

 

 

 

Own Women

We can all easily become a subject to one of the biggest mistakes that can happen in a relationship – losing our own identity while blending into the identity of the pair. We enjoy being part of a union, belonging and feeling connected. However, if we are not careful, we might fall into the trap of substituting our individual desires and goals for the ones we share with our partner. This can lead not just to the feelings of emptiness, but to the destruction of the relationship. The person that chose us, made that choice for whom we were at the time and once we change drastically we might not be that choice anymore.

Therefore, to have a prosperous relationship, we need to be happy as individuals first. Our identity of being a partner to someone should not overshadow our own identity. Only if we still have individual goals, while having mutual ones, can the relationship move forward. Furthermore, nothing is as sexy as a person who is successful in what they are passionate about.

Recognizing the signs

How many times have you found yourself thinking “I’d love to go to the gym, but I would rather spend time with him?” or “Never mind, I can meet my friend next week.”? Spending time with our loved one is precious and naturally, you will want to spend as much time as you can with him. However, it is crucial that we don’t cease to do all the things we did before the relationship started. Spending time apart from the partner is necessary to keep the passion alive and have a happy relationship.

Do you fight for his or your mutual goals while postponing your own? Are you allowing your desires to be put aside while assigning priority to his? Although this is at times desirable to do in a relationship, the problem occurs when this is excessive. We need a sense of accomplishment to feel happy, hence we need something we can call our own to achieve said feeling. Not only will you feel successful, but it will also make you more attractive to your partner. We are all attracted to success.

Some of us will not detect the signs on time, but we can be certain our friends will. If your friends start calling you flaky all of a sudden or saying you changed considerably since you started the relationship, you might ask yourself if yours is a co-dependent relationship. Remaining independent to some extent in a relationship is important and makes the essence of a healthy relationship. Being self-sustained and independent can protect you from being hurt in case the relationship becomes destructive and/or ends. Additionally, you should never compromise on your core values to please the one you are with, even if it means losing them. Another partner will accept and love you the way you are. There is someone for whom you will not need to change your core values.

Reacting promptly

When you notice this pattern appearing react promptly. Cut it before it spreads! The sooner you react the easier it will be for you to implement it since it hasn’t become a habit. Additionally, acting sooner will lessen the resistance your partner will put up when you introduce a change.

Take time to envision about what you desire and generate your own goals, alongside the ones you have together. If you decide to do something on your own, there are different small business help and support for start-up businesses on the Gold Coast. If you find you need help and you don’t possess enough knowledge, you can always rely on coaching for business women. Being independent financially is important as it can promote independence in other areas of life. Coaching for success is an excellent choice if you want to be your own woman while being his partner. 

Invest time with your friends and set aside some alone time. Being apart can indeed help you grow closer. Remember the old saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” We might add that autonomy and self-reliance does too.

Be happy yourself to be happy together

Being independent instead of co-dependent means you enjoy being together, but you are good on your own too. When you are co-dependent, you find you can’t deal with problems alone, you rely on the partner for every need and you lose the sense of your own identity. Developing a healthy relationship requires effort and mindfulness of our actions. Devoting all free time to your partner can be pleasant, especially at the beginning, but it can lead to a co-dependent relationship.

A healthy relationship means two independent people, who can be happy on their own, choose to be in a relationship and spend time together. This kind of independence allows both to grow separately and as a pair. Being able to depend on self, doesn’t imply not relying on the other. Being able to support oneself means choosing when to rely on your partner, but being able to support yourself when he is unavailable. Having this sense of autonomy and confidence reflects on the relationship too. Two happy independent people develop an exponentially happy relationship.

11 March 2019 – Article Submitted by Milica Markovic

 

Did the article bring any feelings up with you?

Are you at that point where things need to change?

Lets catch-up virtually for 30-45 minutes to discuss anything about you and your business. I’m here to help you set and achieve your goals.

 

Book a Discovery Session

 

How to know you are ready to date after divorce

Divorce is rough and challenging, regardless of whether you were the one who ended it or it was your partner. Finding yourself on your own again, dealing with the break-up pain, making co-parenting plans, and eventually starting to date again can cause you to feel anxious and stare at the ceiling awake at night. Dating will most likely not be a priority right after the divorce, but once you do decide to try dating again, there are some things that could help you know you are ready for it.

You can accept your ex had some good qualities

There was a reason you chose your ex-partner in the first place, even though some of those elements might have changed over time. Why is it substantial to acknowledge this? Most likely the reasons you choose him are, nonetheless, relevant criteria on which you base the choice of your partner in general. The good qualities he possessed were indispensable to you to start with, hence you will likely want your new partner to possess them too. Therefore, choosing the exact opposite of your ex just to get as far away from as possible, is not a good idea. Ideally, you are able to recognize the desirable qualities about him and seek someone that is similar to him in that regard, but with the other benefits missing the first time.

You comprehend what you can and cannot compromise on

Do you know by now what are the absolute top 5 qualities your partner needs to possess if you are to stay with them? Do you identify some values and qualities you’d appreciate them to have, but can tolerate if he doesn’t have them? Coaching for success directs us to first understand our needs and things we wouldn’t settle for. Comprehending what is your absolute must and what you can compromise on will give clarity to your partner, but most importantly to yourself.

You don’t require a man to validate you

To be fair, we are social beings and need affirmation of other people. However, it is crucial we find our own name on the list of people who make us feel worthy. In coaching for success, one of the priorities is to be able to rely on yourself for affirmations. What is it that you like about yourself, what makes you exceptional and noteworthy? Being your own validating agent will be your shield against rejections and negative feedback. Invest in the relationship with yourself first and find happiness in time you spend alone. Any new partner that enters your life will merely add to that happiness, but shouldn’t be the sole or key reason for it.

Acknowledge what you desire to achieve with dating

Before you go on a first date, think about what is your goal. Coaching for business women instructs us to first set a goal that will drive our efforts. Would dating be a way of acquiring a partner to share life with, simply have fun, meet new people, etc.? Knowing what you want to achieve will guide your behaviour and support you in achieving exactly that. You might not know right now, and you want to explore exactly what you would like to gain from dating? That is alright too, as long as you are straightforward to your date but most importantly honest with yourself. If you are looking for a long-term commitment and your date is seeking something casual, you stand to get hurt.

Dating after divorce can be intimidating, to say the least. Putting yourself out there can be frightening, but it can be rewarding too. To make sure you get the most from it, be ready before you go on the first date. In conclusion, to check if you are prepared, you can ask yourself:

  • What were some good qualities my ex had, and what was missing?
  • What kind of qualities does my new partner need possessing, and what would I like him to have, but I can tolerate if he doesn’t?
  • What do I love about myself? Why am I worthy and exceptional regardless of whether others recognize it?
  • What am I seeking for from dating?

Most of all “Be Kind to yourself” – There is no right or wrong in the journey you take and your journey will be different that another. When we go on a journey of self-discovery we can often re-invent ourselves. Maybe learn meditation and mindfulness. Separating makes it sound like half of you has gone when in reality you are about to discover a new you – ENJOY!!.

 

“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but they no longer lead somewhere.”

 

10 February 2019 – Article Submitted by Milica Markovic